My Van Runneth Over

About a year and a half ago, we bought a van from my sister Rachelle. It was my parents' van, and Rachelle purchased it from them when they sold their whole life to move to Africa. To say the least, Rachelle gave us a great deal--we paid only the trade in value (which we all know is about half of the private value of a vehicle). At the time we were hopeful about an adoption situation, and I was feeling like we just might "need" a van anyway, since another baby would mean three car seats--Adam, Avery (girl I nanny), and baby.

That adoption situation didn't work out, and I have to say that it was sometimes depressing and I felt silly driving around a big van (and paying for gas) with just one child inside. I joked that buying the van was an act of faith, sort of a Field of Dreams "If you buy it, they will come."

Fast forward to yesterday--my first day since Jacob that I had both Avery and Brynlee. I've watched Avery for over two years now, and she's like Adam's best friend and sort-of-sister, combined. As Adam explained it during all this change, Avery is part of the "old days" that he sometimes longs for. Brynlee is a new addition--she's just under two, and I've only been watching her since July.

When Jacob came, I took a break from having extra kids for a while. Two weeks ago I started up again, with just Avery. Then last week I had only Brynlee (Ave was on vacation). Yesterday I had both. The day began at 6am, which was barely enough time to shower and get ready, feed 3 kids, feed a baby, and load everyone into the car in time to get Adam to preschool by 9:15am. The day went well, but I was totally exhausted by the end.

And it wasn't until this morning that I realized that my van is full. As this dawned on me I was overwhelmed, this time with gratitude. It is amazing to me how the Lord has given me exactly what I want and need, without giving me exactly what I planned. My plan was to get married and have children--between 7-9 of them. Eight years later I was 29 and having my first baby through adoption; five years after that, Jacob has come into our lives.

Even though our family has grown more slowly than I hoped, my van, our home, and our lives are full of children. I am so grateful for the opportunity to love and care for Avery and Brynlee--that their parents entrust them to me. They bring so much fulness into our lives, and I get to be a mom of a herd of little children, like I'd always dreamed.